The final countdown...

Ultrasound and blood test at the clinic first thing this morning. The first step on this first cycle of trying to conceive.

I'd been told the clinic I'm using can be a bit like a production line as they are so busy in the mornings with up to 40 women coming in for tests etc. But there were only three or four other clients in the waiting room, it was relatively relaxed and everyone was very chilled and friendly - not rushed at all. Whenever I've been there they dealt with me promptly and don't mess around, but that suits me fine as I usually have to rush into work. The clinic itself is done out like an upmarket day spa so you do feel at ease there - and very aware that they must be making a healthy profit!

I had the blood test first and hurriedly filled in my consent forms which I'd forgotten to complete. She asked me if I'd looked at the donor list, and told me it hadn't changed since they gave it to me last week, which is a relief. It would have been annoying to have deliberated over certain donors only to find they weren't available anymore. She said I could fax it to them later so, unsure of my third choice, I held on to it...

Blood test done I went back to the waiting room to wait for the scan. When I was called a few mintues later I was again expecting to be rushed in and out - I'd even been warned to wear clothes that were easy to get in and out of. But the Dr was very laid back and in no hurry.

It's never a pleasant experience to have a stranger rummaging around in your nether reasons. As she got out the 'dildo-cam' and pulled on a condom and covered it in lube I did have a moment of thinking 'What the hell am I doing?!' but I'm sure this is nothing compared to what happens at the other end of this process, should it be successful!

She showed me my uterus and ovaries as they appeared on the screen. The first ovary she saw had only small follicles on it but then the other came into view, and with it a very large follicle. "20mm and ready to go," she said.

"I'm surprised at that," I said. "I have a longish cycle and don't usually ovulate until day 17."

"Well in that case it could be a cyst," she said. She then took a look at the lining of my uterus which she said wasn't looking quite thick enough, but that the blood test results would tell them whether my hormones were heading towards ovulation or not. If it was a cyst she said it wasn't a problem, they'd just have to wait for another follicle to develop.

So off I went wondering what on earth it meant if one of my ovaries had developed a cyst. Would the cycle be delayed? Did I not ovulate last month? Were my eggs running out? Was my fertility already in freefall? Of course our friend Mr Google had all the answers so by the end of morning I was half reassured the cyst would disappear naturally and half convinced that I was going to have to have surgery to remove it!

Thankfully the clinic called at around 1pm and put me out of my Google induced misery. "We'd like you to take an ovulation test tomorrow, but only call us if it's positive," said the nurse. "If not take another on Sunday and call us either way, positive or negative."

So, it's the final countdown in my first cycle of trying to conceive. It was a follicle after all, not a cyst. So much for me knowing my cycle! Chances are I'll be going in for the IUI on either Monday or Tuesday - and I still haven't given them my donor choices...

My number one choice is clear, and two is pretty much decided on, but for my third choice I'm still tossing up between a nice-looking, not so intelligent, CMV positive (I'm negative) caucasian boy with no reported pregnancies OR the super-hot, sporty, intelligent, heathy, CMV negative black guy with reported pregnancies... Decisions decisions.