Getting there - one needle at a time

My evening shoot 'em up ritual

The full on injecting stage has begun. Two injections each evening - one in either side of my tummy. I now have a nice collection of bruises. I hadn't noticed this until Tuesday when I started injecting drug no 2 - Gonal-F. A couple of five cent piece size bruises. Nice.

At around 9.30pm each night I get out a couple of swabs, the syringe for the Lucrin and the sharps container. Out of the fridge comes the vial of Lucrin and the Gonal-F pen. I line it all up on the kitchen work surface - dial-up 300iu on the Gonal-F pen, draw-up 10units (which I think is 1ml) of Lucrin into the syringe and I'm ready to go. It's a slightly surreal evening ritual, which I actually look forward to. Is that odd? Maybe, maybe not.

On Saturday night I babysat for my friend's little boy who is just four precious months old. While they got ready for their much looked forward to night out I stood in the dark cradling their tiny son while he fell asleep. I rocked him and sang to him and marvelled at his total trust that he was safe and looked after. He let out big sighs as his body relaxed and sucked on his dummy - I was entranced. I knew in that moment that my life is finally on the right path. This time next year I could be cradling my own child. With every injection I give myself I feel that that moment is drawing closer - needle by needle.