Stalling tactics

I've joined an online group for 'single mothers by choice'. I put the question I was considering in my last post to them and the reaction was immediate and unanimous - don't waste your time, that at my age time isn't on my side and that I should just get on with trying to have a baby on my own.

Apparently by your late thirties only one in four of your eggs are viable.

My god I really have been kidding myself haven't I? It's just so hard to grasp the reality of declining fertility if you haven't yet had to face up to it. And I would like to have more than one child though how on earth I'd afford to I don't know - I'm not how I'm even going to afford to attempt the first one.

A couple of the women on the site seem to have chosen to be single mums first and foremost whereas I really really would rather not be. I don't feel like I would be choosing to be a single mum I feel like it's being forced one me because it's the only way for me to become a mum at all. I want what most of my friends have - a man who loves me and wants to have kids with me - not that that always works out perfectly. However I guess to a degree I'm still sticking my head in the sand looking for ways to hang on to that dream.

My other problem is money. I have no savings (I've just spent most of it on new furniture etc as I've only just settled permanently in Australia), and I'm just about to take out a loan from my work to pay for my permanent residency application. So the time I need is also the time to save some money or maybe sell my flat in London so that I have some capital behind me to pay for treatment and to help support me once I do have a child - if I am lucky enough to have one.

I think I'll be making an appointment with my doctor very soon. I can set the wheels in motion and see how things go...