Roulette anyone?

There never seems to be any straightforward answers in this trying to conceive game. It's all one big gamble. Do you continue taking a chance on the illusive Mr Right crossing your path? Are your ovaries about to shrivel up and die? Do you still have any quality eggs left hiding somewhere in those 38-year-old ovaries? Should you try a simple inuterine insemination (IUI), or go full steam ahead with IVF? Which donor is going to have the super sperm that will find your egg and produce a healthy baby? No-one can give you any clear answers to these questions. The experts are just in the dark as you are. So you just have to follow your instincts and hope for the best.

I'm a firm believer that anything worth having in life is worth taking a risk for. So at some point or another I'm just going to have to stop analysing, stop asking questions, hold my breath and take that leap into the unknown. That time could be next month. Sharp intake of breath.

After realising that it's going to be a while before the clinic my original fertility specialist treats at gets their act together, following the introduction of NSW's new legislation - only five women can use each donor, complicating the use of imported sperm from the US - this week I went to an appointment with her competition. Fertility First are well known for treating single women and lesbians, clarified their position regarding the new law last year and are continuing to import sperm from the US sperm bank, Xytex.

So the long and the short of it is that I can go ahead with an IUI treatment next month - if I'm ready. That, of course, is the crucial question. Suddenly the real stuff is imminent and I can feel questions and doubts bubbling under the surface.